I KNEW IT!!!

Partially thanks to your column I have found a woman who indulges me in my fetish: pegging. Apart from occasional santorum, she doesn't seem to mind. However, she has the nagging fear that I am secretly gay. When we engage in pegging, half of the thrill is that it feels really good, and the other half is the wonderful thought that a woman is doing this to me, which is naughty and cool and otherwise freaky and fun. Nowhere beyond the fake plastic penis is a man involved. For her benefit, since I know she reads your column, could you explain that this doesn't make me gay?

Help Me Out

Sorry, HMO, but I've changed my mind. Any straight man who would let a woman do him in the ass has to be secretly gay. You're a fag, HMO, just admit it already.

Well, there you have it. According to Dan Savage, my ex is a big homo.