Because of flash floods throughout NJ yesterday, my bus driver decided to take the scenic route home (through Weehawken, Hoboken, Pulaski Skyway, down Rt. 1). And I got aggravated because it made the trip over two hours. That wouldn't have bothered me, since I usually cop a snooze, except the two chicks in front of me wouldn't shut their big yappers. Even more annoying is the fact that they sounded like the girls from "Baby Got Back" Oh My God, Becky, did you see her butt? And they were talking the most frivolous nonsense that made my brain melt (Had it not been for that horse, I never would have made it through college). The entire ordeal made me think about that Jeanane Garofalo bit about how Hell will be what's in your mind's eye. This would be my Hell: Packed bus, bumper-to-bumper traffic down the Turnpike, Sir Mix-a-Lot twins in front of me, Baby Momma yelling at her two year old to the left, Ghetto Bitch pushing my seat up, and overpowering B.O. dog-shit-for-toothpaste guy next to me, who's coughing the entire time.

But a call from my darling Steven made the trip infinitely more enjoyable.