And the award for best Soul, Spoken Word or Barbershop Quartet album goes to....

Yeah, I watched last night. Only because a dear friend of mine plays guitar for John Legend. Admittedly, I got a little misty. You couldn't see him (until the very end, I think) but that guitar sounded smooth as silk, baby!

So, is Madonna a cyborg or what? No one nearing fifty can look that good. Except maybe Tina Turner. Whom I'm not entirely convinced isn't a cyborg either.

I tuned in a little while longer for the Mary J./Bono duet. Sufficed to say it didn't dissapoint- their respecive voices still sound amazing. And so did Stevie Wonder! "Don't you get any spit in my harmonica, girl." Cheeky....

But when Kanye West won, I said click. If all award shows are self-congratulatory exercises in masturbation, the Grammys are a double-ended kong dong with a side of pump-gallon Astroglide.