Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ!

AMERICA, fuck yeah!

Went to Virgil's BBQ on Friday night to celebrate K-Dawg's new racket. The only down side is that I'll be craving those hush puppies for a week. Mmmmmmm, maple butter.

Then we saw Team America World Police. Go see it if you want to laugh your ass off...

Met my man's best friend Saturday night. Nice guy. Since I drove (love that PT Cruiser- looks like a hearse), didn't start drinking until we got back to my place. Rum and Coke- yummy!

After we were sufficiently toasted (around 3am), Jay breezes in and just as abruptly starts to leave. I stop him to ask where the hell he's been (since he blew off a bunch of friends who kept coming by the house looking for him). He was giving some lame explanation, I notice the butt of his (plastic BB) gun sticking out of his pocket.

"What the hell are you doing with that gun?!" Now this get's my man's attention, who promptly comes to the door.

"Nothing, nothing. I'm just going to kick some kid's ass."

"With a fake gun?! Are you out of your fucking mind?!"

"It's fine, it's fine," he insisted while trying to shut the door on me, "He's nothing." And he splits. My man takes off after him; I'm stuck putting on shoes.

When I finally leave the house, NonGirlfriend walking up to the door. Ushering her with me while giving the skinny, we get to the block where there should have been a big commotion. I thought for sure there'd be fists flying.

Apparently, the kid (who NonGF explained to be a big, black guy- with three friends) took off. Jay and my man went back to our place.

Naturally, it involved the guy grabbing NonGF's ass- or she grabbed his and blamed Jay- I have no idea. We were all crocked. The entire thing was ridiculous.

The bottom line is suburban domestic bliss can't happen soon enough.