ESH part II

Alright, so our "Best Unplanned Photo" happened at the Times Square PD when a guy walked past us with the A&F shirt:

Jewels grabs him, we set up the picture in front of the gigantic letters, "NYPD" and she whips her shirt off. The photo is fantastic- the guy has a huge shit-eating grin on his face.

The next stop, wonderfully planned by Nancy, brought us to a wholesale bridal shop. It was mayhem, so they didn't notice four of us run into the dressing room. Mission accomplished- relatively more easily than first suspected. On the way downtown, Jewels, Nancy and I were discussing the gowns, how pretty they were and how moderately priced- even if you had to bring it to a tailor. Ken chimes in, "You know, those things are like kryptonite for you women. Ten minutes ago, you were flashing Times Square and now you're ready to settle down because you found a dress. Eh, he seems nice enough...."

The whole day was a goddamn riot. Especially when Freedom and the Fannypacks showed up to make out with us. It's amazing how quickly you get over the insecurity of being naked wrapped in plastic in front of total strangers. Maybe because we all had our tongues down each other's throats.



What an opposite experience of showing my tattoo to co-workers than to everyone at the judging party. It's nice to be in a room full of smart, creative types so you don't have to explain yourself. Except for the guy that asked if it was the mask that Arnold Schwarzenegger wore in Total Recall. Erik did an amazing job of capturing her face perfectly with a subtle touch of gray shading. For the judges, I displayed this picture next to my tattoo to show the quality of his work. I explained that he asked if I wanted a red box around her head- and I said no, I wanted the background more ethereal. And the cutie blonde judge said, "Cause she's the biggest star of them all..."

And lastly, I'd be remiss if I didn't write about this. Okay, so when we got back to the loft for the judging, there were a few faces I didn't see at the start of the day. I figured they were team photographers, judges or friends of the owner. And there's this one guy- kinda nerdy looking, shaggy dark hair, thick glasses, black polo shirt- nothing out of the ordinary realm of geekdom.. until you get to the southern hemisphere. He wore silver spandex biker shorts with what appeared to be a cucumber stuffed down one side. And every once in a while he'd adjust himself and I thought he couldn't be for real since all day long we all were dressed up in some way or another. Later, he was on the fire escape when I stepped out to have a smoke. And everything he said, I remember thinking to myself, "Huh?" -he's just trying way too hard.

Afterwards, during a very late dinner with team Chocolate Pants, I discover that guy claims to be the illegitimate son of John Holms. Apparently he's been on Howard Stern, article in Rolling Stone and a movie or book is being (unsuccessfully) made about him. Allegedly, he went there to pick up chicks. Which proves that you need more than a 14-inch cock to get laid.