Completely exhausted after work, I fell asleep before the bus left Port Authority.

Forty minutes later, I awake to find we haven't even reached the toll plaza to the Turnpike and being re-routed to hook around past the Meadowlands. Great. That always adds at least another half hour to the trip. In less than sixteen hours, an extra two have been added to my commute. Then the batteries in the disk player went dead.

Anyone who knows me at all can imagine how hopping mad I am at this point. My ass is numb, the lady next to me has denture breath and the AC is cranked so high, my extremities will be good for 6-8 weeks without freezer burn.

So I close my eyes, take a few deep breaths and alternately flex my glutei maximi to regain sensation.

As we reconvene with the Turnpike, I look out the window at the oncoming traffic, now exiting- on their way home. Lucky bastards. I happen to glance down and notice something in the middle of the road. As the bus approaches, it becomes obvious someone haphazardly discarded a penis-shaped dildo before reaching the tollbooth (I knew I should have bought that camera phone). Were they fishing for change, received an unexpected surprise and hastily tossed it out the window? Took a vow of celibacy and decided right then and there to cast off the shackles? In the midst of a lover's spat and wanted to spite their partner? My mind raced with possibilities. Funny (funny strange, not funny ha-ha) how a piece of silicone rubber can melt the vexatiousness around me....